Beers In The Bleachers

Brett Gardner was named the starter in Center for the Yanks today.  While I’ve been a fan of Melky this is the best move.  Chicago Blackhawks tickets way more upside to Gardner and I think any Yankee fan knows we’ve seen the best out of Melky.  So much for the Got Melk shirts huh?  Well we’ll think of something for Gardner I’m sure. Cheap Lion King Tickets

Well that’s how I see it I’m glad Bodog does too.  I mean I’m pretty sure they’re reading my mind on that one.  If the Yanks have half the offense they had last season and the pitching holds up from this spring.  27 is well on its way and Boston Red Sox tickets balance will then be back in the universe.  Another exceptional day today from the pitching staff. This from NJ.com

DUNEDIN, Fla. — Left-hander Andy Pettitte allowed just one run while Mark Teixeira went 2 for 3 with a pair of RBI to help the Yankees beat the Toronto Blue Jays 3-1 on Monday.

“I’m happy, another good day,” said Pettitte, who finished with seven strikeouts. “Felt good with everything, my command feels good. No complaints right now.”

Pettitte appeared ready for the regular season to begin, settling quickly into a rhythm against the Jays. He retired 10 straight at one point and pitched into the seventh inning.

The veteran left after throwing 92 pitches in 6 2/3 innings, allowing just five hits while issuing no walks. He lowered his ERA against major-league competition this spring to 0.79.

All I was able to see in that article was blah blah blah give us our rings now.  Although the 27th is the hardest championship to win the league doesn’t stand a chance.

Ok if you’ve been watching the NIT at all or TV in general you’ve seen this guy everywhere.

Ok so this is from The Smoking Gun.  Ok so Shamwow guy Vince Shlomi (but we will refer to him as SWG from now on) loves hookers.  I mean who doesn’t really but that’s besides the point.  Apparently SWG was down in South Beach clubbing it up when he decided he was going to take this chick back and for $1000 plus shipping and handling shamwow her all night.  The only problem was he broke rule number one in hookerdom, he tried to kiss her.  When this happened SWG got his freakin tongue bit and the Hooker in question would not let go.  Which resulted in SWG punching her repeatedly in the face until she did.  After she released a grip only a hooker could have SWG ran down to the lobby I’m sure stopped the bleeding with a shamwow and called police.  This is where it gets interesting for me.  Apparently Hooker in question got some shots in as well and did some damage.

I mean SHAMWOW! You got your ass kicked.  Haha I mean I’ll never look at this commercial the same again. Your shamwow doesn’t look so super absorbent now you could have cleaned yourself up with before that mugshot.  This is right up there with any other celebrity mugshot for me.

Boston Red Sox Tickets

As I’ve been preaching and will continue to preach until game time Wear White to the Garden tomorrow.  It’s going to be a blast.  If you’ve never seen a game at the Garden you’re in for a treat.  Also there are rumors out of Happy Valley of possibly 10 buses or more of students.  That would be completely amazing.  I have lived in the NYC area as well as the Philly area (2 hours away) and I know the amount of alums that will be making the game which will make for an awesome crowd.  A couple things from those of us in the know:

Starting at 5 tomorrow at local West 1 Penn Plaza will be hosting Penn State fans BOOZING like only we know how. Complimentary Hors D’oeuvres and Happy Valley Hour prices on select drinks.  Followed by a Pep Rally in the Theatre Lobby of the Garden starting at 6:30 with the Lion, Band and Cheerleaders. Wear White!

-The Bleachers

• The Devils lost their 5th straight game, now starts the annual pre-playoff free fall.  Ok rock bottom here we are.  Brent Sutter has admitted this might be a replay of last year.  Well if that is the case time for the Devil tradition of firing the coach and having Lou take over the playoffs.  Its the only solution.
• Netslose to the Bucks.  Richard Jefferson who at the beginning of the season could not be shipped out of town fast enough dominated and all the players apologized to the fans.  You know once the players and coaches start apologizing for how awful they are that the season is over.  It’s been over but now they’re waving the white flag.  Well I hope Ratner gets his move soon because he’s alienating his NJ fans and so is the awful play on the court.  Viva la Brooklyn!

I don’t know who Kara Lawson is but I fear for her life and somebody beef up security around the President because this chick at Louisville is coming for them and I think she means business.

• Apparently Carl Pavano sucked at more than just baseball.  Alyssa Milano was on WFAN promoting a book talking about why she picked him andit went kind of like this.
  

From Hugging Harold Reynolds:
Baseball’s sweetheart Alyssa Milano, promoting her new book Safe at Homeon WFAN’s Boomer andCarton this morning, might have inadvertently answered the question as to why she’s had so many flings with ball players, noting she’s been a big baseball fan her whole life and “believes in that saying ‘do what you love.’”

When pressed that “Alyssa Millano needs to be dating baseball royalty, not Carl Pavano,”Milano admitted to being little more than a “front-running” groupie.

“This was right after he won the World Series. So he was kind of baseball royalty. It was before he came to the Yankees…and became the Carl Pavano you know.”

Full Alyssa Audio Here

Not a lot on Carla* Pavono here but I love that Alyssa is not a front-running groupie but when she dated Carla he was baseball royalty andthen became the Carla you know now right aroundwhen Alyssa broke up with him.  Fantastic he must have really sucked at more than pitching. But for the real important info if you listen all the way to the end she has seduced men y wearing only a baseball jersey when they got home.  Women take notes!

Oriole’s Fans are pathetic!  This song should be BOOO our owner because he’s too cheap.  Just because the whole league knows that you don’t have a chance doesn’t mean you can go out and make a song about how you can boo the best first baseman in the AL East.  I mean you can boo him because he is a Yankee I’m all for Yankee hatred by division rivals.  But saying that you don’t need Teix because you have Nick Markakis? Just ridiculous.  Here’s the video:

Vegas is loving the number 7 today it’s 7 1/2.  Now I know everyone saw UNC destroy Michigan State months ago but I don’t think that will happen twice.  While they might not win Michigan State will cover and I’m putting my dominating record of picking games on the line and going with Sparty and his intimidating don’t mess with me look.

So I guess Karma came back and bit the Yankees in the Ass.  I mean I’ll take it 13 years later.  It’s only opening day C.C. sucked and in what can only be well deserved retribution Johnny Damon was blocked from catching a home run by a fan.  Somewhere Jeffrey Maier is smiling saying get cocky Orioles fans you’ll still be last in the division.  I mean it’s cute that this is the only time this year Camden Yards will be mostly Orioles fans.  They love showing up for opening day booing hometown players who didn’t want to play at home and then sitting at home for the rest of the summer.  Its what they do.  So enjoy it Baltimore you deserve it!  Have fun watching the rest of the division pull away for the rest of the summer.

• So Sparty made me look stupid last night.  That might have been the worst national championship game ever in any sport.  I take that back the Chargers once played in the Super Bowl and it was awful.  But regardless could anyone have done better than Michigan State?  North Carolina pretty much just laughed at this entire tournament.  I mean the closest margin of victory they had in the whole tournament was 12 and that was against Oklahoma which was a terrible game.  Now time to watch Psycho T fall in the draft like Brady Quinn.
• C.C. sucked…we’ll let Baltimore fans celebrate like they won the world series until tomorrow when they get brought back to Earth. Shhh….don’t tell them yet but their team is not good.
• Michael Jordan isn’t all too excited about making the Hall of Fame.  Saying “now you know I won’t put the shorts on and come back and I like all of you thinking I might”…There’s always baseball….oh wait
• Taran Buie had a press conference yesterday and blah blah blah he’s still coming to Penn State…here is the article.

This has to be a joke right.  Haven’t the Bengals lead the league in jail time for what seems like the past decade.  They’re not winning so reach move of the century they go and get good ole Tank.  What’s worse than a locker room of criminals you may ask?  Well an armed locker room of criminals.  Word of advice to the Bengals, Don’t sign Plaxico Burress.  With all those guns around Plax you’d never know who would get hurt or better yet who wouldn’t.

• The Yankees had a day off yesterday and even the White House knows this is our year.  I mean how else can you explain the private tour they got at the white house.  Sure Ari Fleischer is a Yankee fan but whatever it can’t be all his call.  Hand us our 27th trophy now because everyone knows it is coming.  I know it, you know it and the white house knows it.  Starting today we’re still on pace to go 161-1.  Not the season we were hoping for but what can you do but look ahead.
• The Masters starts Thursday….Tiger will win
  
• Not much else went on in sports last night….the Phillies are 0-2 and have been pretty disappointing…are they off to a bad start or are the Braves back? The Pirates made sure to not give their fans too much hope and got crushed by the Cardinals. The Red Sox won but who cares it’s their turn to slip this year and because this is what you come here for:
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